Monday, April 30, 2012

Annnnnnnd we're back!

So today is technically Day 3 on crutches, I suppose, and I've already had so many interesting experiences. Yesterday I ventured out into the unknown to get a few things done, but quickly realized that this is not quite as simple as it is when you can walk properly.

First of all, it was a beautiful day outside. One of those days in the city where everyone's dining at outdoor tables, walking their dogs (or their children), jogging in the park, etc.(... on goes the list of things I can't do--well I can dine, of course. THAT I do very well.). So to be hobbling around on my crutches was especially frustrating when what I really wanted to do was leap and bound through the sunshine from task to task.

Secondly, I have been having some very shocking interactions with people when they are faced with my disability (yes, I went there). Some people are extraordinarily kind in a way that I don't feel I deserve and it actually embarrasses me because I know if I were on the other end I'd think "Wow. That must suck!" and then happily trot away feeling thrilled that I was not constrained to the limitations of something as inconvenient as crutches. A young man in the subway helped me up a 2 level escalator that was not operating, even after I repeatedly told him I didn't want help (it was clear I needed it). On the other end of the spectrum, while shopping in Forever 21 (Pause. This was an experience in and of itself. I had to shuffle on one foot while holding my crutches in one and and my purchases in another. When I entered the store, the security guard said, "Now THAT'S dedication." Damn right.) I asked a saleswoman for a bag in which to carry my potential purchases--as I was scooting, fumbling with 27 items in my hand and tripping on anything longer than 6 inches because, since I'm only 4 inches tall, it was dragging on the floor--and she pointed to the other side of the room and said, "Yeah. They're over there,". I stood and stared at her blankly (ok, maybe helplessly is the right word) for a few seconds before she rolled her eyes and, in no particular hurry, trudged over to get me a bag. What a kind and giving woman.

So, in general, I think I'm finding that this is going to be an excellent lesson in empathy. Oh! One MAJOR bonus was that as I was scooting ( I think that's the new equivalent for "walk") through Trader Joe's collecting groceries in my arm, an employee insisted that I be taken to the front of the (endless) line. Uhm...Yes?!

Now, let's take a little vacay from all this cripple talk and touch on one of my other favorite topics: Food.

In fact, let's just all take a moment of silence to visualize and appreciate one of our favorite foods. I say "one of" and not simply "our favorite food" because I know just how difficult and unfair it is to have to choose just one item. Whenever someone asks me what my favorite food is, I tell them it's like asking me to choose my favorite child. So, go ahead. Visualize...

Ok! So yesterday I was on Facebook and I saw a little image of an incredibly scrumptious desert and I obviously clicked on it thinking that would make it burst forth from the screen of my computer and land conveniently on a place in my lap. That did not happen. But what DID happen was somewhat magical. I was taken to a land of beautiful, perfect images of all the most amazing food you could ever imagine. A place I might call heaven. Well I guess that's not true, it's more like hell because you can't actually have any of the things you see. BUT it is amazingly tantalizing and very inspirational. It's called pinterest. Yes, yes I'm fully aware that this is not a new phenomenon, but I am always 10 years behind these trends ( I still don't know what tumbler is...anyone?) and so, to me, this is a revelation. I'm so thrilled by my discovery that I will selflessly share with all of you what I have been enjoying since my discovery last night.

Prepare yourself. If you are near any potentially harmful or dangerous food items which, upon consuming in copious amounts, may cause severe and immediate health problems, you may want to remove these items prior to viewing this link. Or just go ahead and reserve an ambulance.  Your choice.

And with that, I feel I can say no more. I'd love some comments other than my loving mother (love you, mom!!) so feel free to share what you were visualizing during our sacred pause!!
Peace out.


  1. Ummmmmm I want all of that.

  2. I feel bad for you but this is the highlight of my day now. Coffee cookies and your blog! Love you!

  3. At the risk of incurring your wrath by making a comment...I have to share that I'm still longing for that chocolate cake doughnut with chocolate icing that I did not have in Jupiter. Did you know they opened a Dunkin Donuts in Troy? How cruel is that? I have to drive by there every morning with my hand shielding my eyes. I know one day soon I will be weak and give in. Wonder what time they take them out of the oven???

  4. What chocolate cake doughnut are you talking about?? Was I there for that?