There will be sexy pictures. I promise. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, I have something really exciting to share...
I HAVE GAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...no. Not THAT kind of gas, you nasty little readers. That precious kind of gas that powers your stove and oven, that allows you to prepare scrumptious meals for yourself!!! We have been without this gas for the last THREE MONTHS in my apartment. Don't even get me started. It's nearly caused me to have an aneurism between the shitty hot plate they gave us in the interim and the strange non-english-speaking man who came to rip through our ceiling once it was discovered (two and a half months in) that the gas leak was actually coming from OUR apartment. But the point is... we have it now!!! Which means tonight was a PARTAYYYYYY
Cue: the sexy photos.
That, my friends, is a delicious stuffed pepper (filled with a Trader Joe's chili Lime Chicken burger which I sauteed with onion and pepper and broke into pieces and a touch of mozzarella on top) and cauliflower rice.
What's that you ask? What is cauliflower rice?? Worry not. I shall tell you!
Chop a head of cauliflower and put it in a blender/food processor (THANKS MOM AND DAD for the amAZEballs food processor for my birthday) with some water. Drain the water and cook in a skillet with a lid on top for abooooouuuut twenty minutes. Try not to let it burn like I did here. Add some lime juice and salt and garlic pepper and ba-da-bing!!! Cauliflower rice!!!
In other words. GO. RUN. GET THESE PRODUCTS NOW!!! You've already spent too much of your life without them!!! Plus, it's a lot healthier than consuming these all night:
Oops! Where did those come from???
One other big update! I received this in the mail a few days ago:
In case you don't have magically microscopic eyes let me help you out here. It's my certificate of completion for the online study course I took for group exercise instructing! YES! That's right!! I'm becoming a fitness instructor! And I gotta say, I'm pretty friggin pumped about it. I've been wanting to do this for a couple of years and I could honestly pee myself thinking about how much fun it's gonna be to teach classes, and how much MORE awesome it'll be than watching netflix 8 hours a day at my job now. I take the actual certification workshop and exam on the 15th of this month, so I'll keep you updated as things keep moving forward. But basically you should be preparing for me to storm a gym near you.
Alright, kids. That's all the nasty pornographic photos I have for you tonight. I'll try not to burn my "rice" next time so it looks pretty for you. Adios!!