Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Progress report and BIG NEWS!!!

Back from a long weekend! I took some time off to let ideas pile up so I'd have lots to talk about. Plus...I'm working two full days (as opposed to the half days I normally work) in a row and I knew I'd need to occupy as much time as possible to keep me from going stir crazy.

So first I need to address some developments on previous posts.

1.) The very same day I posted about no women offering to help me, I had 3 girls offer on my way home from work. And since then I have had girls offer every single day. Ask and you shall receive!

2.) Remember that awful audition? The one where I moved around little tinker toys like someone with a slight disability and generally wanted to stab myself the entire time? The one I walked out of saying to myself, "Well. Didn't get THAT job."

They called me.

I know.

When the woman said "Hi this is ____ from ____ ____ casting. I'm calling you about the audition for the hand modeling job you attended last week," I sat in a shocked silence for a few good seconds until I mustered a, "I'm sorry? From where?". I was pretty sure I'd misheard her. But I hadn't! She was calling because they were very interested in me (or rather...my hands...) and she wanted to confirm my availability for the shooting dates next week. They also wanted me to send them a picture of my hand next to a ruler.

Uhm...weird. This whole situation just keeps getting more and more strange. To be honest, if this job didn't pay a ridiculous amount of money (which it does), at this point I would probably come up with some kind of excuse.
"Oh my gosh...I actually just had a relative die and the funeral is going to be that day. I'm so sorry."

"Oh thank you I'm so honored but unfortunately I just had a terrible allergic reaction and developed a really revolting hand rash"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't at that audition. I'm not even an actor. I think maybe you have the wrong number."

But guess what. It pays a ridiculous amount of money. So naturally I responded with, "Absolutely!" and promptly spent my lunch break picking out a ruler at staples next to which I could photograph my hand (bonus: another time sucking activity to occupy my attention during this endless day: making a creepy photo album of my hand posing with a shitty plastic ruler!). I initially sent her only one photo and then she responded requesting that I provide a few more angles. I didn't realize there was that much to see. This is obviously an entire world that I know nothing about. All I can say is I must have a damn attractive hand to have convinced them they wanted to use me after seeing my audition video. Or they were specifically looking for small handed female puppeteers with a splash of awkward I'm-not-sure-what-I'm-supposed-to-be-doing-right-now thrown in the mix. We'll see how the plot continues.

Obviously I have to allow you to see the hand pictures now. I'd say look in private. Something about this feels wrong.
Angle 1

Angle 2

Angle 3

A third issue that needs to be addressed is rather urgent. In fact, I should have started this post with the announcement I am about to share with you.

[Pause as a girl working in my office sneezes FOUR time in a row and I have to practice deep breathing to keep from having an angry outburst.]

As I was enjoying my nightly ritual of Jersey Shore on Friday evening, there was a moment in the episode where one of the people on the show, Pauly D, said to someone "It's Pauly D. The D's for Delvecchio."
The world around me froze.
Delvecchio??? This can't be right! That is my nana's maiden name! What does this mean??? Could I, Michele Dumoulin, actually be related to one of the cast members on the Jersey Shore??! Does this explain why I feel some strange and undeniable pull to watch the show?? Because they are...family??

I called my mom immediately to inform her of the situation. She calmly told me that Delvecchio was a very popular name. Obviously she wasn't understanding the urgency of the situation and the gravity of the information that I had just shared with her. "NO, mom," I told her, "We're related to PAULY D! Don't you understand?!" I don't think she did, but she did sarcastically replied that I was probably right and, if so, he probably owed us some money. Oh, mom.

I feel like this has been a lot for you to take in at once so I'm just going to give you the night to register what I've just told you. I know I needed the time.

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