Thursday, May 3, 2012

Say yes to Jersey

Today I'm going to break new ground. I'm going to defy the title of my blog and actually talk about something unrelated to food or exercise that I really love:

Jersey Shore.
Not the place. The show. It's as bad as it seems. I love Jersey Shore.

Typically, I am able to hide this guilty pleasure because I really only watch it when I'm at the gym. It happens to be on at the random times I'm there and I fully enjoy watching it as I move from elliptical to treadmill to stairmaster (and now we know why I have a stress facture...). However, being that I am now injured and cannot frequent the gym, I have been forced to watch it at home (It's on netflix!!!). And I have to say, I look forward to it every night. That may just be a reflection of my sad addiction to trashy television, but there is something truly awesome about this show. Even my roommates, though they tried to feign disgust and disinterest at first, can now be found sitting next to me, sucked in by the action.

 Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware of the stupidity and offensive nature of the show. But somehow that only makes it more appealing to me. Is it because, after a day at work and hours of frustrated swinging through a city of inconsiderate, rude tourists/natives, I want nothing more than to sit back, relax, and watch stupid people do stupid things and then flounder around for stupid solutions to the stupid problems that result? Yeah, maybe. I just know I laugh out loud every time one of them says something completely idiotic or does something I can't imagine allowing myself to do on national television or springs into one of their all-too-common shouting matches usually characterized by a slew of censor beeps with the occasional pronoun thrown in. Keep it comin, Jersey.

I actually find myself liking the girl characters. Maybe because we see the results of the lifestyle we lead? There's something oddly realistic about the show. It's not like other reality shows where we know those bitches are going out every night and getting wasted, dancing around and behaving in a generally foolish way, and then they show up the next morning looking fresh-faced and weighing in at 46 lbs. These girls look a mess. They get drunk, they meet random guys (none of this is behavior I'm condoning, of course) but they look pretty damn awful. And something about that makes me sympathetic to them. Maybe it's intentional.

And now that I've made myself look like a sad, lifeless slob who trudges home every night to plop in front of the tv for endless hours of Jersey Shore, let me defend myself a bit. This revelation is only the result of about 2 nights of watching this week, and I am a regular follower of many other wonderful shows like Parenthood and Madmen. I just also happen to enjoy my juicy Jersey Shore as well. A well balanced diet never hurt anyone, right?

So that was something I like. Part II is shit that makes me mad. Yesterday at the very end of my work day I encountered a situation which I find happens to me quite often. There is a short list (thought how short is debatable, as the list seems to grow daily) of things which make me irrationally angry for no particular reason. Things like coughing or sneezing repeatedly, (I have to restrain myself from saying aloud to strangers, "That's it. You're done.") people bumping into me on the sidewalk, and a new one I will now be adding to my list: Potato chip crunching.

Maybe it was because I was hungry, or it was literally the last five minutes of work and I could not bear any more irritations? Maybe it was because this woman was sitting on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM and somehow I could still hear EACH and EVERY SINGLE CHIP that entered here mouth. I'm almost certain I could have illustrated each chip after she had consumed it, detailing it's shape and crevices thanks to the echoes from it's surface as she destroyed them with her teeth. Maybe I just really wanted a damn chip. I'm not sure what it was, but holy shit was I mad. I was practicing deep breathing exercise, I was trying to pour all my focus and energy into my game of bejeweled, I was doing everything I could think of to keep from standing up, marching (scooting) over to her, grabbing the bag out of her hands and screaming, "I can hear you all the way over there! What the hell is wrong with your jaw?! Didn't your mother teach you how to chew politely?!? You don't deserve these!"

I didn't do that, which is probably good because I like this job most of the time. Namely, when people aren't trying to drive me to the point of insanity with their chomping. Am I alone in reacting this way to things like this? Does anyone else get so angry when faced with such a seemingly insignificant thing? Let's get some feedback, folks!

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